blah blah blah
11/06/00 ~ 6:35 pm
yes, i said i would write on saturday night. however, carly came over and i couldn't very well type with her there. so i didn't.
i am at school right now, in our computer science labs. i did some homework, now i have time to kill until swim practice. so i thought i'd vent.
so i don't even know what i'm feeling right now. i'm trying to ignore it and spend as little time with ned as possible. which is kinda silly, cuz i take him to school, see him at school at 4:30, and take him home from school. but i kinda just don't want to deal with it. i basically just want to let things roll until our trip, which should be fabulous because there won't be samantha or any of the other stupid friends around to mess things up. we actually function almost as a 'couple' around astrid and bleh. this morning he was nice to me, i let myself in (yes, i have a key) cuz he overslept, and waited for him to get dressed. while he was hurridly throwing stuff together, he gave me a nice little pat on the head. then when we pulled into school, i waved to this guy i know and ted said "who's that?" and i said "matt." and he said "matt, huh? i see how it is." and i was like "whatever." so what was that about??? i really can't read him. plus, i have invited him to go to thanksgiving with me and my mom and grandparents. my mom actually invited him when i told her about my poor friend who has to stay home alone. he may come. otherwise, i'm sure sam will try to get him to come to her house.
we haven't had the 'nationals talk'yet. it will basically consist of me saying "do what you want. don't let me find out about it. i don't want to know." but i still have to DO it.
my life is boring and pitiful. no wonder i never know what i'm feeling.
~holly~
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