this is where i get insightful
07/25/01 ~ 12:03 p.m.
so i was reading chicken soup for the teenage soul last night. courtesy of jenny's bookshelf. and there was a quote in there about expectations. and it got me thinking.
i have little to no expectations for the relationship between ned and i. half the time, we don't even have a title. (his mom told me last night that he said that i am his girlfriend. i didn't know that). i don't expect flowers, kind words, emails, cards, attention, etc. sure, if i get some of that, it's very nice. and that's just the point.
ned never (or very rarely) lets me down.
he can't because i don't expect for him to do anything. so everything he does is above and beyond my expectations.
now, this is not to say i have no standards. ned is a brilliant man, which is what i like best about him. he's funny (and intelligent funny, unless it happens to be about the simpsons). he cares about all of his friends, whether he shows it or not. he's a genuinely good guy, and he makes me happy.
the important point is that, because i have no expectations, everything he does i regard as special and important. if he calls me sexy, or sends me an email, i feel great, rather than feeling like my boyfriend FINALLY acknowledged me.
i can think of a billion relationships where one of the people (usually the girl... not to be sexist but it's a factual trend) gets upset with the other because they haven't done something. because they didn't put the kids to bed or they didn't take out the trash like they were expected to.
i think a lesson can be learned form all of this. i think that we should all not have such high expectations of each other. we'd all be more relaxed and happy.
they say, to truly love a person, you love them exactly as they are. i may not be in love with ned, but i do love him as a person. i love jenny, as i've explained to her, exactly how she is. i love her because of, and despite any faults she may have. when you want to be friends (or more) with someone, you must accept their faults as part of them, not spend the entire time trying to change them. that only makes everyone unhappy.
ok, that's enough out of dr. holly for now. i hope i made everyone think. today, try to regard something someone else does for you as special rather than "the usual" thing they do.
~holly~
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