lean on me, when you're not strong
09/27/02 ~ 5:00 p.m.
i've not had the best few days. school = not fun. no money = not fun. watching what i eat = not fun.
i broke down last night. i slipped at dinner, and ate too much. it made me feel sick physically, but i was really down on myself. then david was dissapointed that i hadn't been able to stop myslf, and then i started to cry. i hate it when people are dissapointed in me.
but really, it wasn't just that incident. i'm stressed. i'm worried about this next year - it's not going to be easy. i have no money, and i don't make enough. my current job is going to end at the end of october, so i'm hunting for something that can support me. nothing else in this town pays $10.50 like i'm making now. to top it all off, my credit card issue is so bad that i am forced to havea debt consolidator help me. which they can, but i have about $500 in credit card bills each month still. plus rent and books and electric and food and phone and car insurance and that's not even counting the fact that the bumper on my car is scraping on the ground.
next on the stress list is school. this ties in with money because the more i work for money the less time i will have for studying/homework and i just really want to drop all my classes but i can't because i need to PASS and GRADUATE and get the HELL out of here.
so david was my rock last night and i was his rock today. he's having a shitty day. see, we're a team. we rock.
he's at class. i am supposed to be taking a bath, which i will do soon. when he gets home we are going to robert's house to have dinner with him and brookie. tomorrow is my grandparent's 50th anniversary party. so i gots stuff to do. i should get going.
ta,
~holly~
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