thinking about the future
03/09/05 ~ 1:13 p.m.
wow, reading over my entries from march 9th in past years, they were not always good days! one year ago today was that car accident. damn. and two years ago today, david's grandma rejected me as part of the family enough to go to his grandpa's wake. sucks.
both of those times, i was more sure than ever that i wanted a future with david. i knew there would be. and we keep getting closer and closer, emotionally. we're on the same page. it's the little things these days. cleaning the garage together. buying bath mats and laundry tubs. making the decision to add him on my my cell phone plan instead of having his own, because it will save *us* $16/month.
we talk about the future, usually either carefully avoiding the marriage subject (cuz i'm not pressuring him, it will happen when it happens) or else talking about it as if it happened somewhere down the road (i.e. "well, at that time, when i cut down my work hours for school, i'll just go on your medical insurace because we'll be married" or "we'll need to save up 10% for a down payment on a house, and that's not going to happen until way after we're married", etc.)
i like the direction my life is headed. and i like the thought of building my future with david.
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2004: i know, i am a fucking idiot who needs to pay attention while she drives, and to stop multitasking. we'll just say i learned my lesson, eh?
2003: i'm torn between not caring to be around them at all and the intense need to belong. i want to be a part of his life, all the way down to the family level. and i want them to recognize me as an important part of his life.
2002: it's 1:43, and i've been scrapbooking since about 10:30 this morning!
back 
forth
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