how many times can you say you're sorry?
08/25/01 ~ 12:00
i'm crying right now.
i just got off the phone with carly. she found this here diary. she doesn't want me to talk about her anymore, so please take note that this is about ME.
i'm a bitch. i take pride in how nice of a person i am, but in reality, i'm a closet bitch. this same thing happened with jenny a few months ago, but i think this is worse. i fucked even more up this time.
this is a diary. i rant. i rave. i express feeling that i have in that moment and then, they're gone. but i agree, i've said some nasty stuff about her. i have disclosed things about her life that i shouldn't have. what's done is done, i've already hurt her. but i *did* take some stuff down, even though she said i didn't have to. so if you try to dig for stuff about her, it's not there.
i was having a nice night. i hung out with carly this afternoon, took a nap, got up, and went by myself to the movies. i saw jay and silent bob strike back. i am WAY into these kevin smith movies. i don't think people understand. i know every little detail, how everything is realted, etc. so this movie was great. it kicked a lot of ass.
i came home, started my laundry, and baked brownies. i talked to amy -- i'm going to go visit her over laber day weekend in tahoe!
then carly called. i'm still totally upset. i went out to get my laundry, and let my cat escape. then i had to find her in the apartment complex, while i was crying. i'm done crying. i feel sick now. how could i have been such a evil, coldhearted bitch to the people i love?
~holly~
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