hey, jealousy
10/21/00 ~ 2:51 pm
this drama actually includes me. i hate that.
it's much more fun to watch.
so, it's wednesday night and we're having south park night. it's the usual people- me, ned, sam, greg, carly, and jason. somehow, the seating arrangements end up with jason and greg on the floor, carly and i on the big couch, and sam and ned on the small couch. ned decides to lean on sam, making her the 'pillow'. this is a normal thing for ned. no problem.
but by the time we are watching the movie (toy story 2), ned and sam are being more cuddly. ned is holding sam's hand, and kind rubbing her arm. now i know from my standpoint as the f*%k buddy, this should be no problem. yet i am racked with pangs of jealousy.
this is new to me. i have never, EVER been jealous of a situation like that. it wasn't even like that after rick broke up with me and started dating hoochie heather.
so i'm sitting on the opposite couch looking mopey and shooting glances at them. finally i go down on the floor, and ask ned if i get to take him home. he says sure. (note the lack of enthusiasm) then he asks what's wrong. i tell him i don't want to talk about it there, but i'd fill him in later. he is honestly oblivious.
so i take him home, and let him know that i was jealous. i feel *very* dumb saying it, but i know we both must say open and honest for this to work out. his first reaction is to laugh at me becasue "me and sam have always been like that". then he gets the guy ego trip- "two girls are fighting over me" thing. anyways, we have a great night, i'm over it. i was just being dumb, having a momentary flash of being a girl. this doesn't happen often. so end of story, right?
of course not. don't you know my friends by now?
so the next day i get a voicemail at work from sam. it says "check your email. ok, bye" of course, it's the email at home, where i won't get to it until late at night. so i call her and try to talk to her. she is *very* upset. she feels (in a nutshell): guilty for making me jealous, confused my ned's mixed signals, jealous of me cuz i have him, sad cuz she wants him back, and dumb becasue she's bawling on the phone.
so now i feel bad. this girl is *so* in love with this guy who i am sleeping with. she thinks we are super emotionally involved. meanwhile, ned thinks the best way to go is to not deal with it, and offers no input whatsoever. what a guy. sam ends up sending me and ned long, long emails. they basically tell me she's still in love with him and tell him she wants him back. ouch. so, i'm dealing with it.
~holly~
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