chatting
05/22/01 ~ 4:35 p.m.
at about 12:30 ish, ned IMed me and told me to go to sleep. (which is funny cuz he's 3 hours later). we got to chatting, and talking about us, and him telling me how beautiful i am and stuff. god i miss him. so we chatted for a long while about deep stuff, like we usually do (with a little of that "what are you wearing?" type talk too) but one thing stuck out in my mind. it went something like this:
me: i need to ask you something, did you tell your mom about us? cuz i'll need to know that when i try to convince her to fly you out here in august.
him: yeah, i did.
me: oh, well then i guess the begging won't work then.
him: well, i told her we would be together if we lived close by.
it's so nice to feel wanted. he wants me to try and fly out there for a weekend. ha! do i look like i have 400 extra dollars just lying around? he was brainstorming about those planes that are hella cheap like air trans or something. alas, none of them go to atlanta.
so back to the personal ads, i'm doing good. nothing like 20 guys telling you your picture is cute to boost your self esteem. i'm not even cute! they lie! but anyways, i feel like i'm kinda keeping a distance and trying to convince myself no one will like me. and i hope it's not because of ned. but i know at least part of it is. because if i get seriously involved with someone else, ned and i are *really* over. whereas now, if he were here right now, i'd be getting a lot less sleep. P>
~holly~
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