goodbye ned, hello 2001
01/01/01 ~ 11:37 pm
boy, it's been a while!
well, i guess i'll start when i returned from canada, go on until today and see how that goes. my trip will be a whole other entry... i have to type up the trip journal. disclaimer: REALLY long. so...
ned's last days
we got back from the trip at about 6 pm on tuesday, dec. 19th. i told my mom we were getting back wednesday so i could spend an extra day with him. i had planned a surprise party to be awaiting us when we got home, and it went off nicely. ned had no idea, despite carly calling while we were on the trip and almost ruining it. we got up early wednesday morning because ned had to fax something to georgia tech (the school that is stealing him away from me) and i told him we could do it from my work. we swung by there and i showed off ned to a few coworkers, which was fun. our next stop was ceci's house. i had agreed to house-sit for her over christmas. it was funny because she assumed that ned would be there the whole time. she told her dog, "they're gonna be your mommy and daddy for a few days." ha ha. then we went back to ned's house and watched the shining. ned is a HUGE kubrick fan, and that was the one he hadn't seen. he made me watch clockwork orange not long ago, and we also rented 2001 to watch later. that night we did gift giving with our friends. it was pretty lame cuz sam didn't show up, greg invited some random girl, and carly was working. i spent that night alone at ceci's house.
thursday morning i had to take my brothers to the mall to go christmas shopping. it was awful. i left my ATM card in the machine, tried to return something at spencer gifts and it took 45 minutes AND i didn't get credit towards my purchase, and my brothers we being dumb. the only good thing was i finished my christmas shopping. i got ned fight club for christmas, and a simpsons calendar for his birthday. i hung out with him later that afternoon. we watched 2001, and carly came over right at the end of it. we talked a bit, and we were cleaning up after the party mess. somehow i said something about a bowling night that went on when i was in canada that greg had lied about to carly, and all shit broke loose. it took her a long time to calm down and stop throwing up, and then she dragged us to the mall and to see christmas lights. i had planned for ned to come over to ceci's that night, which hurt carly's feelings, but oh well. i get to be a little selfish sometimes. we watched his new movie, and went to bed.
friday i got up, took ned home, got my trip pictures back, and spent the afternoon with astrid. it was nice. i ordered a pizza, called carly over, and spent the night watching losing issah with her. very relaxing. ned had to hang out with sam and greg for a bit that night, so i didn't even call him.
saturday i got up after carly left for work, drove over to ned's house, and crawled into bed with him. he had to get up to leave for reno that day, but i got to relax with him in the morning. he wouldn't be back until tuesday. i went home to do christmas stuff with my mom at about noon. carly came over again, helped out, and came back with me to ceci's house. she had to work until 3 at night, so i went to sleep and she joined me when she got home.
sunday morning i got up and went back home for christmas eve. i can't think of anything eventful. carly came over again, and spent the night. i taped my girl off of TV. i love that movie!
christmas morning we opened gifts and then my aunt, uncle, grandma, and grandpa came over. not too exciting. carly and i went back and forth between my house and her grandma's for christmas food. once back at my house, ned called and said he would be home early- that night. carly and i went back to ceci's, and watched object of my affection until i went to pick up ned. we finished watching it and started chasing amy.carly went to bed-- MY bed-- and left us out in the living room. we ended up putting blankets down under us and sleeping on ceci's bed, which i feel bad about. it was a nice night though.
tuesday we went back to ned's house, hung out (i napped), played with pictures on his computer, and generally did a lot of nothing. ceci was returning that day, but i told my mom that she wasn't due back until wednesday to give me an extra night. we went to swing for a bit (no one was there) and just came home. i had to return to work on wednesday.
i got up and dressed for work at ned's house the next morning. work was fine, i had a LOT of stuff to do. i went home, took a bath, and then ned, carly, greg and i went to fresh choice for dinner. greg and carly had had a drunken rendezvous and were 'okay' that night. then we did the wednesday night thing, and returned to ned's house. i told my mom i was at carly's house that night.
thursday i worked again. i left work a little early because it was ned's last night. i went home and packed because i told my mom i was leaving for livermore that day. when i got to ned's, he was gone with sam, which of course bugged me. i took a little nap in his bed while they were gone for over an hour. when they got back, i didn't talk to her at all. she did her whole crying thing and finally left. ned and i and his mom packed a lot of stuff that night. we went to bed at about 11, and didn't want to sleep. we had so little time left. we stayed up talking and doing our thing for the last time until about 4:30. we shared a lot more than ever that night. we talked about the things that would remind us of each other and stuff. i got up at 6:30 to go to work.
friday i worked 7-11 and came back to the house. i had to help pack and stand by while astrid and bleh hung out to say their good-byes. it wasn't until about 3 that everything was done and i had ned to myself. we sat in his empty room and i tried with all my might not to cry. i am a strong person and i took pride in the fact that he had never seen me cry. i broke down though. not badly. i was just quiet with tears running down my face. he tried to cheer me up by showing me a map, but that was when i realized just how far away georgia really is. we got up and went into the living room, where his mom noticed i had been crying. i was calmed down by then, and she told me that they would call me on new year's day while i was at the house feeding the dog. she also discussed with me how she is going to fly him out on his spring break in march, and how she's help me fly out to visit him someday. the thing is, i don't know what's going to happen. we're not a couple. who knows what lies ahead? i want a new boyfriend, someone that will make me feel special like he did, but i want to visit him too. so maybe the boyfriend will have to wait. we went back to his room and i laid with him on the bed, crying a little, but basically just trying to be close to him for as long as possible. when he had to go, i pulled their truck into the driveway as his mom got the U Haul ready. i was calm again and he came and started kissing me. him mom told us she would wait in the car and reminded me to page on new years day. then we kissed again and i started crying. he held me and made me promise to write to him. i managed to choke out "thank you" while i held him tight. then he left. he turned and waved as he got in the car, and i went inside and cried myself to sleep on his bed.
carly came over after work and we began out new year's weekend. i paged ned on new years eve morning (his birthday) with the text message "happy birthday ned. i miss you. i'll call tomorrow. holly". i got a page that night with his code, 333. so i tried to page him with the livermore number, and he never called. today i paged when i got to the house, with no luck. we should have though things through... that the pager couldn't handle being that far away. i set up an answering machine at his house so if they were to call it would say to them "i tried to page but it must not have reached you. call me at home or page me and i'll call back." but alas, it is 11:19 pm and no word. she (ned's mom) tends to call collect to their house, and so she wouldn't hear the answering machine. i'm sad, and hopefully i'll hear from them when they get to georgia.
new year's weekend
i went to livermore, my 'hometown'. it feels like home because i spent my precious high school years there. i also think that most of my friends from there have a little less dysfunction than the ones here. i took carly with me because she needed to get away and also because she was sad she'd be alone on new years. we left on saturday and basically did the whole hangout thing. she got to meet amy and justine's family- suzy, don, and jeanie. they are such a second family to me and i love it there because it feels like a home, unlike how mine used to feel. her parents are wonderfully tolerant of lots of people and noise at their house. it's amazing. we went out to coffee after a famous 'gross stuff' dinner. i love panama bay. i wish it had been there when i was in high school. i saw everyone. that night it was sean finney, amy pocha, sean asivido, and brent. absolute heaven, although i'm sure brent thought i was stalking him again. then we went back tot he house and hung out and mike came over. i miss him like crazy, and we had tons of fun being goofy and throwing things at people. the head count at that time was 12 people, plus the 3 family members not involved in hanging out. sunday morning we awoke to bagels and juice. yummy. carly and i took at trip to concord to visit an aunt of hers she hadn't seen in a long time. it was relatively boring, but that's what friends are for, right? we also got to visit dan, my sexy sexy neighbor. =) i miss him cuz he's so far away at UCLA. growing up sucks.
well, we went back to coffee later on sunday and hit jackpot again! i saw marisa lumia, mme. berard (my favorite teacher), and justin!!! i thought justin still lived in san jose, but turns out, he was back home. so basically carly got to meet everyone who was important to me. it was awesome.
we left for the party in oakland and arrived just fine. i was tired and not in the best of moods due to my prior week, so i wasn't very social. i ate some magic brownies, went outside to do the puff puff thing, and then relaxed inside. carly managed to do the same as me, plus get drunk. she called greg on her cell phone and tormented him as usual, and i just kinda stared at her. then i found a room with a comfy chair that was dark and stared off into space. i drifted in and out of sleep, having crazy dreams about exploding oranges. amy woke me up 2 minutes till the ball dropped, and i drug myself out to watch it. (she told me that when she woke me up, i said, "what game are we going to play?" anyways...) i guess carly had fallen asleep in some back room on a bed, and amy drug her out too. after the ball dropped and we both got sad watching amy and alex kiss, we returned to our respective spots and slept again. at about 2:30, carly woke me up and drug me to the van to get out pillows and blankets, and we slept in there with amy and alex. in the morning, we got up and returned to the house for a bit. the host put on music, and the first song he played was "no woman, no cry". if there's a song for me and ned, it's that. i didn't cry, just smiled. i miss him.
nothing much else happened. we drove back, had waffles, drove home. i've been chilling in my bed (which i've missed these past weeks) watching the WB. and that's it.
and so i begin a new year...
~holly~
p.s. my new year's resolution is to go to swim practice at least 3 times a week. it is plausible because i now have less of a nighttime distraction on my hands. i have got to lose some of this poundage. i'll keep updated on how it's going.
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