take life as it comes
06/16/03 ~ 5:16 p.m.
well, i'm sure you all must be just SICK of pictures, but in case you're not, i
posted all the digital pics from the whole weekend on this page. some
are the ones i put up here , but there are lots more.
i just finished reading she's come undone. it was an incredible book. i'm
feeling quite moved by it right now. she was so crazy... and even though i
didn't understand why she did what she did, because i haven't had the
awful experiences that she did, she seemed so real. and even though it's not
exactly a happy book, i'm not sad after reading it. it was just very good. so
now i need to go back to borders and get another book. woo.
so, i'm trying to look on the bright side of things. trying to take each and
every bad thing as "a blessing in disguise." i still haven't come up with the
blessing that came with the dead cars, but i have come to terms with the layoff.
i don't like this job. (but you all knew that!)
they either give me nothing to do, or the most boring, mundane tasks possible.
thursday and today have been my first 8 hour days, and let me tell you, the next
two weeks are going to DRAG. i hate biking up the hill to the bus, i hate
looking through scanned files all day, i hate not having any friends, i hate
that i have no internet access. i really, really hate it. i was going to put up
with it for 2 reasons: one, it was only for 2 more months, and two, it pays very
well. but i've come to think that 8 hours that pass quickly and happily at a
lower pay are better than what i have now. seriously, by the time i get home at
5:30, i'm going to think it's bedtime. 10 'o clock! that's how long it seems
that i've been here.
so it's a blessing, see? it's forcing me to find something new, something i will
potentially enjoy a whole lot more. as long as i keep that in mind, it's not so
hard to deal with.
today, i faxed out 4 resumes, emailed one, and put another one in the mail. and
i applied online to sutter hospital. those are ALL the office-type jobs in
davis, according to the paper, hotjobs.com, monster.com, and the uc davis job
search. my plan is this - i'm going to use these 2 weeks to apply to office
jobs. if, by my last day here, i don't have a new job, i will do two things:
apply for unemployment, and start applying at more mundane jobs. let me tell
you, it will be quite a blow to have a bachelor's degree and working at
blockbuster, but... you do what you've gotta do. but i'm going to give myself a
little time before i stoop that low.
i also put in a call to the main office of that brokerage firm, where i am still
employed as an on-call (meaning, i can only work if someone needs me to cover
for them, and without a car, i'm stuck to just 3 potential offices). i'm trying
to line up a full-time job with them in santa rosa, so that i would be all set
when we move. if that doesn't pan out, the resume mailing and frantic online
application process will begin at the end of july, synonomous with our
appartment search.
as far as car plans go, this weekend we're going to check out the local
dealerships and see what their graduation deals are. something a few years old
but still under warranty, if we finance it, could be do-able. we're going to
hunt around for the deals, but ultimately, we won't buy anything until we're
almost ready to move, and we'll buy it in santa rosa (because we'll want to have
the dealership local for repairs). and truthfully, you don't need a car in
davis. so we're gonna milk that for all it's worth.
so, we've got a plan. we're calm, we're doing what needs to be done. i just
needed a few days to freak out, get depressed, cry a lot, and get it all out.
and who could blame me? now we're ready to tackle everything head-on, and it
feels good.
hear me roar!
rawr.
~holly~
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