poor holly
12/16/02 ~ 12:05 p.m.
i've been in a little bit of a blah mood lately. it's what caused the tiff
between david and i -- if i'm down and he can't cheer me up, it puts him in a
bad mood. i figure it's because of a few things -- finals, and worrying about
whether or not i'm going to pass -- that's a big one.
the other thing added
to it might be that i'm lowering my dosage of celexa. remember how i didn't
even want to take it at all? well, it helped me out a lot and i feel more in
control, and i'm starting to ween myself off of it. i didn't want to stay on it
for that long from the beginning. i have 40 mg, so i started taking half
pills, and having 20 mg. that was fine. but at the doctor's appt. she gave me 20s
so i could keep weening, and i went straight to taking halves. so i'm back at
20.
david pointed out the ridiculousness of it all -- i was depressed the
other day because of the lowered medication, which is still supposed to
un-depress me.
so i've been good this morning, even shaking off the scale
reading reminding me of how much i ate over my birthday, until my boss totally
snapped at me. it was stupid too, he didn't realize what was going on, and
carol even told me that i was fine, that she hadn't asked for help and i was
doing what i was supposed to. it just really ruffled me, cuz he's kinda harsh
anyways so i dunno, i just felt really really bad.
i am always such a guilty
person like that. i feel like i have my tail between my legs -- and i didn't
even do anything wrong! sigh.
my lunch is in an hour. i'm going to go home,
have soup (yay, low calories!), and do my toning workout. crunches, leg lifts,
etc. then i only have to do the bike when i get home this evening. i'm working
full time this week, except tomorrow cuz i'm getting a cavity filled. yay -
money, boo - not much free (read:david) time.
i have to pee. ciao,
~holly~
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