help me!
03/13/01 ~ 11:48 am
ok, loyal readers, i need advice. carly said she didn't know... so i am now going to put the situation our there for all of you. please PLEASE email me ([email protected]) if you have any advice.
so, the situation: i've been hiding ned from my mom since the very start. the start being june 22nd... almost 9 months ago. she's met him 3 times, as my *friend*, and that's it. it's kinda amazing to me she hasn't caught on, being that i went to seattle with him and a couple, or that he came to thanksgiving with me. but she trusts me to no end, cuz i am her "perfect, drug-free, alcohol-free, virgin daughter". do you see my dilemma?
so, i want to tell her. in fact, i need to tell her so that when i go to GA for thanksgiving with his family, it's not out of the blue. i am scared to death though. she's very virtuous, and has given me the whole 'no sex till marriage' bit when discussing my friends. so i need to try to avoid the sex issue. cuz i can't even come at her with the "but mom, we're in love" thing. cuz we're not.
ned agrees that i should tell her. i hope he doesn't feel like i am ashamed of him and that's why i'm hiding it. but it's a good thing he wants to let it out. it proves he's serious about this.
the second issue is, a good reason for not letting her know that there's a guy in my life at all is that she doesn't question things like me not coming home. and when he comes to visit, how am i going to tell her i'm staying with him? i could ask her to let him stay at my house, with the door open rule. but what if she says no? then she'll make sure i come home every night and i won't get to cuddle with him at night. but i guess these are risks i am going to have to take.
so, i'm telling her. the question is HOW? and HOW MUCH? my best idea at the moment is, upon returning from GA in april, i tell her that we got together there. so it's still lying, but then i don't have to admit that i lied before. i'll explain that we liked each other before he left, but didn't think that a long distance thing would work, but now we're gonna try. this is skipping 9 months of the relationship though. i could try and tell her that we'd been 'seeing' each other for a while but i never said anything cuz it wasn't serious, and i didn't know what we were to each other anyways.
and although i *am* lying now, i couldn't lie straight up if she were to ask me, "so are you sleeping together?" and then... the disappointment. the guilt trip. i doubt she'd actually punish me or anything, but i'd feel so bad for letting her down.
i know, i'm a huge fucking hypocrite. if i can't stand up for my actions, i shouldn't be doing them, right?
please help me out!
~holly~
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