no other road, no other way
04/24/02 ~ 11:13 p.m.
(profound rambling - seems fitting for my 500th entry!)
i am such a basket case. i seem happy, right? positive outlook, and all that? well, i just spent a good half hour bawling.
what am i doing? how did i get where i am? [how did i get here? how the hell...]
can i afford davis? no. how about this apartment? not so much. how about france? not at all. but i'm doing it anyways. is that selfish?
is it selfish of me to grab at a chance to realize one of my biggest dreams?
and why wait? i could die tomorrow. and if i did, sure, i wouldn't have gone to france. but if i die in a year, then i will have that experience to take with me to the grave.
i love life. i'm scared to death of, well, death. petrified really, of the world going on without me. if i died today, i would be regretful that i didn't get to do all i wanted and resentful that i didn't get a chance to.
i'm not done here. there are so many things. i haven't seen the world, i haven't found true love.
The heart may freeze or it can burn
The pain will ease if I can learn
There is no future
There is no past
I live this moment as my last
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today
~holly~
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forth
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