i get by with a little help from...
12/08/04 ~ 12:55 p.m.
so, in examining my dental situation, a few things became obvious.
1) these fills, especially the one threatening root canal, NEED to be done. they are not optional.
2) because of the way insurance works, with limits per calendar year, i have to get as much done in december as humanly possible. an in, if a root canal needs to be done, it has to be before dec 31st.
3) i cannot afford this.
4) i am not willing to borrow the money from david because i already have a debt to him for the purchase of our vehicles.
5) i need help.
i racked my brain to see if there are any people in my life that i could go to. it wasn't an easy thing to think about - i don't ask people for money. my dad is unemployed, and owes everyone and their mother a shitload of money. my mom is pretty poor, and couldn't help no matter how much she wanted to.
so i called my grandparents (the paternal ones). i felt horrible, and the prospect of asking them for money terrified me. i've never asked them for any handouts. i explained the situation to my grandma, and i started crying. i felt horrible. she immediately offered me the money, before i even had to ask (although it must have been obvious why i was telling her the story). i'm going to see them on saturday when david and i will be in town for another event, because i feel horrible that i haven't seen them recently. i changed my appointment to monday, where the dentist will attempt to fill the worst tooth, and if a root canal is needed, they will immediately proceed.
i am very lucky that my family is helping me out this way. i still feel bad about it, but it's really the only way. and of course, i will pay the debts back.
so now all i have to worry about is the prospect of THE DRILL. in the midst of all the money worries, i almost forgot how much i HATE THE DENTIST. not just dislike, ABSOLUTELY CAN'T HANDLE it. i got my first cavity when i was 20, and i white knuckled the chair the whole time. i couldn't help it. my poor dentist.
i don't know why i have such an aversion to it. i mean, even the gynocologist doesn't bother me that much. poke around down there, fine, but poking around in my MOUTH? well, that's just not ok.
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one year ago: no entry
two years ago: griffin is squawking. it's annoying the piss out of me.
three years ago: i wrapped a bunch of presents today and put them under the tree. and i hung the mistletoe. i feel so christmassy.
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