new month, new misery
12/01/03 ~ 11:16 a.m.
i'm in a sort of bad place right now. a few reasons, which all sort of tie in together:
my so called "full-time" work is on hold right now. as in, i have no hours this week, 16 next week, and 8 the week after that.
without full time work i am lacking two things: a) enough money to really make ends meet and b) medical coverage.
to solve 'a', i am making situations with 'b' worse.
see, almost two years ago, i injured my knee playing volleyball. (this entry). it healed for the most part, and living a quite sedentary lifestyle at the time, i very rarely experienced any more pain after that.
fast forward to now, where i try to do cardio at least 3 times a week (high impact most of the time), and i took on a second job that involves STANDING for hours on end.
bingo.
so i have no medical coverage, i'm working at blockbuster to try to have enough money for rent and maybe buying medical coverage, and i'm destroying my knee in the process.
today i can't workout, i've been laying on the couch watching movies, and i'm hopped up on over 1,000 mg of motrin. i'm limping when i move around. and i still feel pain.
i feel as if this is going to stall my weightloss. it's going to make things hard financially and put strain on david. i'm starting to feel like i'm in a tornado i can't get out of, a whirlpool of disaster.
i feel like a big baby, too. seriously, i don't want to be a burden or a whiner. small pain in my knee is normal; i just let it go. but this isn't any small pain.
i just tried to call a healthcare insurance provider reccommended to me by a coworker. their message says "we are currently closed for thanksgiving. we will return messages monday, dec 1st." hello, what day is it? "this mailbox is full. goodbye."
whatever.
back 
forth
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