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i'm writing all poetic and shit
06/04/01 ~ 8:48 p.m.

i've realized that my last few entries did not summarize what is actually going on in my life. they merely relate a few select circumstances and my reactions to them. lots of emotions.

um, i just finished reading a heartbreaking work of staggering genius and, although i am not a finely polished writer like dave eggers, i think his style of writing is flowing through me. i feel like i am writing unlike myself. (and it was a good book. i need to read it again. i feel... enlightened and yet still a little confused. the man is odd.)

so... justin expected fireworks and a big hoopla. so here i go:

the introduction of brooke and justin proved to be a remarkable one and they have hereby made it official: they are a COUPLE. they are sickeningly cute, as most new couples are. it is wonderful and happy and fantastic and i am thrilled to have two of my bestest friends groping each other. i just pray they are happy for a long time and never break up so that i may never have to choose sides or hear terrible stories of what was done to each party. instead, i will bask in their joy as a new couple. boyfriend-girlfriend. happily kissing (as i hear was witnessed by a few of brooke and my coworkers through the window. ha ha.)

moving on... i am typing this in notepad, offline, so as not to lose my entry. my EVIL brother is online on my mom's computer. i get paged. he refuses to let me call jenny back. i am PISSED. jenny is in the middle of a painful time right now and i want to be there for her. i can branch out from this story in two ways: 1. jenny's situation 2. why i want to move out as soon as humanly possible. i'll go with #2 first, it's shorter.

2. i am currently in the middle of trying to fix everything so that i can move to davis a month early, on august first. this is fueled by three things: 1. my brothers are evil, gross, dirty, annoying and EVIL, 2. my mom has her moments, and 2b. one of her moments is not letting ned stay with me when he comes to visit. even with an open-door rule. she doesn't even know what goes on and she won't allow it. so it's going to be tough and i probably only have a 20% or less chance, but i m trying to get moved into our apartment early and have heather move out of her apartment early and avoid that month's rent. it will be tough but SO worth it. i'm trying not to get my hopes up though.

1. jenny. my poor sweet jenny. she's been going through some emotional termoil lately, and a summation of the beginning of it can be read at her page. (to summarize, she lives with her current boyfriend but has just began corresponding with her ex-boyfriend and was going to meet him to obtain some closure). this, however, did not go as planned and actually further opened up many dams. she's decided that her ex (andy) was a catalyst that made her realize the problems she has with mike. ulitmately, as of this moment, mike and jenny are broken up. i WOULD know more, but i can't fucking call her. i don't know. i feel bad for her and i want to be there for her. i feel bad for mike too. it's all just bad and sad and hopefully everything works out in the end. jenny, if you're reading, i love you. (actually, even if she's not reading, i am proudly announcing to all my readers that I LOVE JENNY. it's ok to love your friends, just dont love your friends).

ok. so. let's see. now i am signing on because obviously jenny thought *i* was online when it was my evil brother, and she is now online. grrrrrr. i hate my brothers. (moving out soon, moving out soon).

ok, we're both going to sign off and talk on the phone. bye everyone.

update: i talked to jenny, her and mike are FABULOUS and i am so happy. i'm glad things are working out! =)

~holly~

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