father dearest
05/18/01 ~ 9:39 a.m.
so. sunday i drive to stockton to meet with my dad. i don't know what i'm expecting. i know i'm not going to get any moeny out of him. he makes a lot, but he lives a highly priced, san jose life. with a bitch girlfriend who is the mom of his baby. who doesn't work or help out at all. seriously, i feel like i am so much of a wiser person than him. that he could learn from me. that i could tell him what he needs to do to be moving in a better direction in life. he could move to a cheaper area. HP or NEC up in this area would hire him. then he'd be able to see my brothers easier. his life is hurting his health, supposedly. my grandma said he's got a lot of issues that keep him home frow work and he's out of paid time off. i don't know if i want things to be better between us, or if they ever will. i don't agree with what he did, i despise cheating, i resent him for not financially taking care of me and my family, i resent him for never being the father i wanted (he's what ned's mom would call "a sperm donor. not a father."). and i don't know if i'll be able to speak my mind to him when i see him. i'll just go mute. i'm scared.
~holly~
p.s. wish the polystompers luck!!!
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