and i went through hell
04/22/02 ~ 9:15 p.m.
hm. what have i done since i wrote in here last? oh. ate chips, read jenn's novel, looked over the files i'm supposed to use, freaked out, emailed david, called david, and took a nap.
now awakened, i have a terrible nap headache and i watched the end of 7th heaven. david gave me some tips, and he's offering to help me tomorrow. i bet i won't get it ALL done but hoepfully i won't get a 0 either.
it's times like these when i wonder if i've really chosen the right major. i love computers, i love knowing stuff, but i lack motivation. unlike tom or david or joshy, i don't just dive right it. i'm not sure of myself enough. i fear my programming skills are weak, that i'm in some way inferior to my peers. i hide it well... acting like i'm a know it all, pretending i understand everything. i wish i really did.
ok, i'm not really questioning my major. it's right for me. i really need to get slapped out of this. possibly i will make myself some green beans and sweet potatoes, return to my computer, and at least get some framework done for david tomorrow.
goddammit, i hate feeling like this. won't the sun inside my soul please come out?????
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