"the mondays"
04/19/04 ~ 1:36 p.m.
i believe i have mentioned before about how i dislike mondays. i have them off and they make me feel like shit - couldn't i just work them like any normal person and hate them because i'm back at work? i mean, for me it's a part of my weekend - i should enjoy them!
today was no different; in fact, it was worse. i met with a bankruptcy lawyer and i left in tears. there are two different kinds of bankruptcy - one where the slate is wiped clean and another where you are stuck with payments for 36 months before any slate wiping occurs. you get stuck with the second one if you have too much extra money left over each month after paying your bills. i may fall into that category. unless i include the money i owe david's grandmother or the money i owe that guy who lent me $2500 for my car. but if i include them, they go on my bankruptcy filing and it affects them and i don't want that!
and i might even fall into that category even including them, in which case they will then beging getting paid by the courts from my payments and it will be all messed up. all because i now make too much money. but i can't even afford to pay the fucking bankruptcy lawyer. all i want to do is put this behind me and work on setting up my future and i can't.
i don't want to talk (type) about this anymore, i'm bound to start crying again. i feel like i'm burdening david with my problems and screwing up other people's lives. i feel like shit. and i know i put myself into this shitty situation and it's all my fault, but it doesn't make it suck less.
happy fucking monday.
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