down in the dumps
10/12/03 ~ 12:19 p.m.
i'm a bit down on life right now. no use pretending i'm not. i *could* post a happy go lucky entry, but i just don't have the energy.
i hate that i'm working an assistant job for the same amount of money i was making before i went to college. i hate that i have so much debt that i'm considering bankruptsy. i hate that even if i do claim bankruptsy, i can't afford to file it right now. i hate that i had to take on a second job that pays 7.75/hour, just to help make ends meet.
all of this hate and general life-loathing leaves me depressed and unenthused about anything. so far this morning, i have managed to do practically nothing, except cry to david about all of these things that he can't fix.
i feel bad because he did so many things for me this morning to try and cheer me up, and i ended up in tears anyways. he cleaned things and made me breakfast and stayed longer than he should have. he was late to his friend's house. and at times like this, i NEED friends but i couldn't bring myself to call anyone.
i spent the last hour and a half reading a danielle steel book. eventually i will do my workout, unenthusiastically.
i guess i just want to know when it will get better. will it ever? i try to believe that it will, that it has to, but sometimes, i'm not quite as sure.
back 
forth
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