'perfect'
08/06/03 ~ 8:32 a.m.
today is good for 2 reasons:
1. i'm back down to my lowest weight so far. lost those 3 pounds and i'm ready to start losing virgin ones again.
2. we get the keys to our place.
the offshot of #2 was that we didn't have the most ufn night. we were getting all our crap together at his parent's house and both stressed and irritated and not being able to talk through our small porblems so they become big ones. like... i had him get our telephone line and DSL and cable connected this week (we want it all in his name, cuz of my bad credit) and he just told me LAST NIGHT that he didn't like doing that because what if something fell through at the last minute and we have a 1 year DSL contract? makes sense to me, but it hadn't crossed my mind and i was just trying to be organized. but if he doesn't tell me what's on his mind, how i can know? but he was worried i'd get mad if he said anything, so he just kept it to himself.
so we stayed up way too late, both half alseep, trying to talk about these things. now we're tired and at work and just want to have our new place be magically put together so we can just relax and enjoy each other. but it's never that simple.
part of my problem is that i want everything to be *perfect*. i have a hard time just letting it be. i overplan and try to make it all perfect in my head, and then drive myself crazy trying to get it to work out like i planned. david, on the other hand, is very good at "letting it be" and making the best of how things turn out. my overplanning only stresses him out and doesn't make him feel more organized.
so these are things i have to work on. relationships are about compromise and love and communication and all that. i intend to do my part in that and help things run smoothly.
whew. that was a big, deep character evaluation. sometimes i need those.
but no matter what happens, i love david with all my heart.
~holly~
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