why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
04/03/03 ~ 4:42 p.m.
More and more, as I get older, I notice how completely complicated and bizarre life is. It just keeps getting worse, as people try to make everything fit a certain standard, invent rules and regulations, and impose all of these codes upon everyone else.
This came to mind as I am doing my work - mindless busywork someone dreamt up for the intern to do. I am retyping an instruction manual that was put out in 1965 or something crazy like that. It's basically the training guide for people who issue permits for any type of county-related thing. Here's an excerpt of what I just typed: "Moving of houses is to be considered separate from regular oversize-overweight vehicles and loads, and are to be regulated by special procedures, which are outlined separately within this section." (yes, I have typed about 75 pages of this crap so far.) but the point is, there are guidelines for EVERYTHING in here. I mean, some places it tells you exactly where and how to file the yellow sheet of paper!
When did life get like this? When was this need for organization realized and implemented? I'm not knocking organizing - I like it when my clothes are sorted by color, when my school notebooks have the papers in order, and when I have a little checklist of things to do. But that's just it - I'm a creature of habit. I can't just relax, and not follow some sort of schedule. If I try to relax, that time must be scheduled in!
Sometimes I think I would love to move to some remote island and live a life with few modern conveniences. I wouldn't have to have an actual job - my job would be to gather food and stuff to make clothing. I could relax and just exist....
Aw, hell, who am I kidding? Just trying to daydream about that didn't make me any more peaceful. I couldn't live like that. I'm a consumer, plain and simple. I'll forever be stuck in the work-to-make-money-so-I-can-spend-it-on-food-clothes-and-other-stuff spiral.
I guess what I am getting at is that I would like to make a change in my life in this aspect, however small it may be. If I can just take a little more time to relax and not fall slave to someone else's rules and regulations, I will consider it a small victory.
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