avoidance
03/03/03 ~ 2:24 p.m.
today's date is cool. anyways.
some people, when they're down, go straight to their diary to bitch, rant, moan, and pour their soul out. i've felt the exact opposite. i've come to diaryland just as often as usual lately, i read all my favorites, but i didn't feel like posting. nevermind i am ruining my perfect streak, but i didn't have the motivation.
actually, that's the story of my life right now. no motivation. i don't even want to get out of bed in the mornings. or ever.
i've had to be strong this weekend, too. david got a call on friday that his grandfather, (who's been in a home with alzheimer's disease for a few months) was not waking up. he was breathing and all that, but wasn't responding. they didn't exptect him to last long. david went down there from friday-saturday, and that was hard for him. he visited him twice, plus had to deal with the rest of the family already divying up his stuff. i held him a lot on saturday when he got home.
yesterday, we went to my mom's house, cuz she's only free on sundays and i rarely have the car then. while we were there, he got the call that his grandfather had died.
i held him last night, and i asked him to paint me a picture of what kind of a man his grandpa was. i only met him once, and his mind was already going. he told me all about him, and cried in my arms. it even made me cry some. it was sad.
as for the rest of the weekend, justin a.* was here. his friend adam was cool. friday night we made stir fry, and went to the grad with krystal*, tiff*, lauren* and company. it's a bar/dance club thing. it was so packed there was a LINE for the bar. lame. i shook my ass for exercise. and was grossed out by the puke in the bathroom sink.
sunday, justin made me pancakes. then we played dr. mario. then we went and saw chicago, and i wasn't that impressed. then we came back and david was home. we played life and clue, and i lost every game. then we went to greek food. then we went to see the list play in sacramento. then we came home and slept.
yesterday we slept in, went to my mom's house, made homemade noodles and ate them, and played backgammon. then we got ice cream and came home.
it was actually a lot more eventful than most weekends. i didn't do any homework. i have a lot to do now but ::puts tape recorder on repeat:: i have NO MOTIVATION.
just 2 more weeks. that's all that is left of these specific classes. then 1 week of finals. then 1 week break (which i will most likely work full time at my stupid job -- and i *still* have to rant about THAT). then next quarter i will have my last 4 classes.
i graduate june 15th at 2 pm. it won't be long before i'm counting the hours.
i HATE school more than most people realize. a lot of people say they hate it. they just toss those words around. i fucking mean them. i hate school WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS. it's wearing me down to a shell of the person i used to be.
unmotivatingly yours,
~holly~p.s. for a smile, click
here.
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* check the cast page for details about this person!
