not my day
01/07/03 ~ 6:45 p.m.
not in the mood to write much in here, but i bet i will end up writing a lot anyways.
i binged today. in front of the TV, no less. too bad i don't purge. so all those chips are still in my tummy. gaining me back what i have lost.
what happened? i kinda had a stress meltdown. i don't think it was really out of left field. i mean, i'm taking a shitload of classes and starting a new job.
i'm trying to make sure i don't fall behind on my classes right away so i am printing out lecture notes and reading the books... but then realizing i didn't absorb a thing i read so i'm not helping anything anyways.
incidentally, the new job is cool. i was way overdressed, they told me to come back in jeans. i can use the internet and check my mail. i get to play with computer programs and try to break them. the people are nice. and i'm making $11.52/hr. only downsides -- small commute (20-30 minutes), and i have to pay to park ($6 a day at the cheapest lot).
davdi was REALLY sick yesterday. i was so worried about him. he didn't leave the bed all day, but enever slept or read or ate or even watched TV. just laid there in pain, half moaning, half crying. first he's hot, then cold, he took like 10 baths during the day to adjust his temperature. i hardly slept, i was so worried about him. i woke up when he was drenched in sweat and shivering. at least he was sleeping then.
he's much better today, due to the fact that i left his side long enough to get him super powerful medicine.
and that's really all. i'm still feeling desperately out of control and i want to just eat my cares away. but as soon as i finish all this printing, i'm going to have david hold me and tell me it's going to be ok.
i am so lucky that i have him. cuz now is when i need it most.
~holly~
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