struggles
09/10/02 ~ 9:19 a.m.
life will never let everything go right at the same time.
life with david is great. i'm in love with him, body, mind and soul. we "get" each other, you know? he's moving in here at the end of the month. financially, it's a very smart move. rent will be cheaper for me, him, and jeannine.
now, outsiders have conflicting opinions on this, however. most people are ok with it. jeannine thinks it rocks. david's parents are cool with it. a lot of my friends are good. there are the ones who think it is a very bad idea though.
that would be jenn. we told her last night, and we knew she wouldn't approve. so then she and i had a talk about it, where she listed all the reasons that it wouldn't work. but i maintain that she's not me, she's not feeling what i'm feeling, she doesn't know that i know this is going to work... and i told her so. i said, "i'm not you, jenn." but she took it the wrong way.
when she got home, she called me and informed me that she didn't know what i meant by it but she's very pissed off and doesn't want to see me or talk to me. when i tried to explain, she didn't want to hear it and hung up on me.
i spent about an hour crying in david's arms. why can't people be happy for me? why do they have to judge? for once, it's finally me that has a guy, that is happy in love, and my friends that don't have someone at this moment can't handle it. i was there for them through their guys, stood by as the single friend, not hurt because i didn't have what they had. sure, i wanted it, but i was happy for them. but my friends can't do the same thing back.
it really hurts me. i don't know what to do. i have to wait for her to call me, in the midst of studying for finals and class and work and everything. i'm going to try and shut it out of my mind, but i know i can't do that.
at least i have david. sometimes life really does throw you a bone. he loves me and wants me to be happy and he does everything he can. i need that right now.
~holly~
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