the saga of stephe
06/20/01 ~ 3:05 p.m.
you know, i am online all day. i am at work from at least 8 - 5, obsessively checking my mail and everyone else's diaries instead of doing work, and yet i don't post my own entries all that often (relative to the fact that i'm always online). i rarely have anything important to say.
so, since nothing special has happened today or yesterday, i am going to go back to something i said i'd do earlier: talk about stephe.
stephe was my first boyfriend. (amy was the one who started spelling it like that, cuz his full name was stePHen, not steVen.) we got together around... march, i think... my sophomore year. he was a senior. he was in my physics class, but more importantly, he was my best friend amy's boyfriend's friend. so the four of us were a little group. it was almost logical that we should get together, unless for some reason one of us had found the other repulsive or something. amy and bryon (the boyfriend) definitely gave us some pushes. i recall one conversation over lunch that went like this:
bryon: so, holly, what are you doing tonight?
me: nothing, just swim practice
bryon: oh. so, stephe, what are you doing tonight?
stephe: nothing.
bryon: ah! innnnnteresting.
we were officially 'together' after a discussion about whether we were together. (nerdy) we didn't kiss for about a week, whereupon he made ME kiss HIM. (more nerdy) we never even french kissed! i hate to say it, but looking back, i wasn't dating him because i had a huge crush on him. i wasn't dating him cuz i even liked him. no, i wasn't dating him cuz he was a senior either (i'm not THAT petty). i was dating him because i was excited that someone actually liked ME enough to date me.
i'm not pretty, not sexy, and i don't have the moves. i'm very nice, honest, smart, and outgoing. so when i get to know a guy, it's usually to be friends. or else i don't get to know him, because i'm not cute enough to grab someone's attention. i never go on 'dates'. all my (3) boyfriends i have known beforehand, and things just kinda 'happened'. so having someone be interested after 15 years of NADA on the love front, i was wrapped up in the idea of having a boyfriend.
which sucks. unintentionally, i used the poor guy. but only for two months. and i realized that i didn't really much like him after about a month. but here's where i delve into the character of stephe.
he's a strange guy. some random proofs of this:
**it took him a month to tell his mom that we were dating, and another month to tell her we'd broken up. so she had a different 2 month period in her head.
** it drove him crazy that i was good at physics. i was in the senior class and kicking ass and he was always mad when i did better than him. he'd fight with me about it.
**he got mad at me at his senior ball because after we agreed to mix it up and dance with lots of people, i slow danced with some guy i hardly knew. it wasn't like i didn't dance with him!
**he went though crazy "shut down" moods where he wouldn't talk. he told me he loved me like the 2nd week. on the phone. i kinda croaked it back, but then thought about it and told him the next day i wasn't ready for that. (hello, i'm only 15. i don't even like you THAT much, i just don't know it yet.) he freaked out, and blanked out. he wouldn't talk to me for about an hour, and stared off into space while i waved my hands in front of his face. THAT was fun.
**he was my physics partner. i knew he'd shut down when i broke up with him. so i had to WAIT until we finished our final project before i did it. which was good, because after that, we didn't really speak for about 2 years. and by no fault of mine.
then, 2 years later, he came to a football game. i hung out with him and spent new year's with him. we went to san francisco and had a lame time. he was off in college, in a frat and failing classes, and a totally different person. still a dork, but different. i saw him on a few random occasions after that, and if i had his email address, i would SO contact him.
he was just a strange guy. not the best first boyfriend. oh well, what's a girl to do?
~holly~
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